2017.03

18

Moving On or Moving Forward?

It’s a Monday morning. It meant it’s time to get back to work after the two-week leave. It’s draining and it’s painful to leave my mother and two older brothers for work in the city. But mainly, I’m worried for my mother.

Everything has been a roller coaster ride for me. Not just the ups and downs but also the twists, the sharp turns, and the unexpected slopes.

Hurdles

Let’s go back to 2016 when the announcement of teachers going to Japan had all the teachers ecstatic and nervous at the same time.

In August, the second batch of teachers who were going to Japan was announced. I applied for the position. Obviously, I was not chosen.

Then last November, MBA Cebu announced the next batch of teachers who were given the opportunity to get a management training in Japan. The next thing I knew, I got tied up with all the processing of documents for my passport and visa. I got accepted!

14947930_10207772358443195_4011432906786611378_n

That moment, I felt that finally, I will be able to widen my horizon. Expand my learning and discover the Land of the Rising Sun’s treasures. However, all of these excitement and hope got buried six feet under the ground.

Last December 2016, the day after my father’s birthday, he passed away. I was reminded of all the plans I haven’t achieved yet, and how I won’t be able to make him proud of his only daughter’s achievements. However, I had no time to cry because my mother needs us the most during this deepest slope of our lives. There was no time to weep, to feel the pain, nor to cry . There was no time to be sad.

Blessings in Disguise

I have always believed in the word “choice.” That in every bad situation, your choice on how to react will be the end result of the situation. Even if I had been through a lot, it is my choice on how to continue. Thus, I choose to see these hurdles as blessings in disguise.

google Credits: Picture is not mine but from Google.

Even though I wasn’t chosen among the August batch of teachers, MBA gave me the opportunity to widen my horizon, expand my learning and discover, not the Land of the Rising Sun, but my capabilities on leading. They chose me as one of the Team Leaders.

14519675_10207435444460556_3158644762697464628_nCaption: URG-MBA Anniversary with the other Team Leaders at that time.

Additionally, I am extremely excited for Lei’s adventure.

17407964_1321997687858886_648403418_oCaption: Lei and I have known each other since university because we took the same degree.

For my father’s early passing, the wound is still fresh. There will be no more chance for me to repay him for all his sacrifices for us. However, this deepest slope I am right now made me reflect on things.

I have my mother. I still have the energy to shower her with the achievements I want to accomplish for both her and father. I can’t give up just now. And I won’t. For my brothers and especially my mother.

17379863_1322013821190606_941276505_oCaption: 2017 New Year’s Eve with ohana (family).

Moving Forward

People say that time will come and I will be able to overcome these negative experiences. That I can move on from these low points of life. For me, I don’t want to move on.

I don’t want to forget the shared sadness, never ending encouragement, and always-ready shoulders of my close colleagues when I cried about the failed Japan chance.

17407876_1321997771192211_1049117779_oCaption: Cheers to facing more challenges, laughter, and memories!

I don’t want to disregard the sufferings my father went through, which he hid and concealed just to avoid seeing us hurt as well.

I don’t want to move on because for me, that is what moving on is. Forgetting. To leave one place to go to a better one. No, I don’t want that.

I will move forward though. I want to use these struggles and obstacles to develop in a positive way. I will never forget the ups and downs, the twists, the sharp turns, and the unexpected slopes.

Because this roller coaster ride, it taught me a lot. Furthermore, it is continually teaching me great things and realizations.

Going back, it’s time to work again. It is my third week in Japan and the challenges, the new learning of culture and norm, the people are the key source of my growth. Now, I can say that I am at ease and contented.

17379687_1321971084528213_2025982441_oCaption: Be with people who are not from your own culture, nationality, and age range. That is how you learn.

Finally, I am moving forward.

この記事を書いた人 chloe

Chloe Alberto
People say I light up the darkest room, and I hope I really do. I always find a bright side to every situation. Currently embracing risks and changes for continuous growth and humility.